Marriage functions

Today, Indians won a scintillating test match against the arch enemies Pakistan. I almost missed the victory courtesy a marriage function I had to attend. I tried to avoid the function, but for sentimental reasons I could not. This just goes on to prove that, as usual, the heavens were against me. The stars had to come into correct alignment for this couple just when there were far more important things for me to do.
Marriages are made in, they say. They are even scheduled by the heavens, and this heavenly scheduling is the only criterion(except in places like Chennai, where availability of a roof over the marriage altar is the primary criterion). In my opinion, on top of all this, there should be another factor that goes into this scheduling viz., consultation with the BCCI. This consultation should be done even before the priest comes into the picture. Therefore, the marriage date shall be fixed on a day when

1) There is no cricket match
2) The hall is available
3) The axis of the stars form the correct angle or waddever the heavenly criteria are.

in that order.

This ensures that events like marriages are more memorable for people like me. It also ensures that I can try enjoying the food rather than having the score as the uppermost thing in my mind.
Anyways, I made a quick exit as soon as formalities(read lunch) were over and just about made it back to see the last coupla wickets falling.

Gubernatorial mathematics

If there are 3 cows, and 2 of them are allied with each other, the third represents the majority!

This is a basic axiom of what I call Gubernatorial Mathematics.

It is generally well-known that most of the politicians in India are illiterate. I have often wondered how these apparently illiterate people become very learned, when it comes to calculating number of seats required for a majority.

Now, these politicians have to make sure that they "don't" get the majority. It calls for a thorough understanding the gubernatorial math. With that as a base, parties have to ensure that they finish second, and have an alliance with the Congress(not for the numbers, but for the clout of Congresspeople over Raj Bhavan occupants).

Kids aspiring to become politicians one day, could well be trained in this new branch of mathematics as a tool for realization of their aspirations.

Saare Jahaan se Achcha
Ganitshaastra hamara!! :P

Ads

Ever since young Mohammed Kaif got into the Indian team, fitness levels rose up big time. The whole team has upped its fitness by several notches. Since then, in tribute to Kaif's contribution, the team anthem became:

Kaif boy hai jahan, tandurusti hai wahan!! KAIF BOYYYY!!!!

Sprite's new ad: Model says "Ye dil maange more!!!". Immediately Maneka Gandhi comes in along with the police and arrests the model. "Peacock is our national bird and its endangered too, so you are under arrest for demanding a peacock for a drink!!!"
Dikhave pe mat Jao, apni Akal lagao!!

Anu Malik endorsing Sprite: Original pe mat jao, apni nakal lagao!!

Dude with his girlfriend in the middle of some really deep forest. Things get romantic, and dude and dudette about to share an intimate moment, when his phone starts ringing. Voice heard "Sir, I am from Townbank, do you want to avail of home loan??". Cut to dude and dudette stranded in a remote island. Again they are about to share an intimate moment when phone rings: "Sir, we have this great offer of a free for life credit card, are you interested??"
In the background: Wherever you go, our network follows!!

Baaki.. break ke baad!!

Budget 2005

PC presented his second Budget of this century. There are some really cool implications of some of his policies:

A customer will think twice before entering a bank to get shelter from rain, he may have to pay tax for that.
A new short-cut to be provided for the figure 9900 in ATM's.
ATM's will always be crowded around midnight. The same person will be seen entering the ATM either side of midnight.
An employee may have to be careful before sending a peon for an errand. Benefits and Service tax may be charged.
After indulging in lots of physical activities during a company sponsored picnic, an employee will be right in more ways than one when he says that the day was "taxing".
Reimbursement may just remain a word in the dictionary, maybe it could be the first word to disppear altogether!!

Any other implications?? Please lemme know!!